Saturday, October 01, 2005

SugarDaddies and SugarBabies


The subject of older men dating younger women or even dating grown up girls is as old as prehistoric times. And will continue till kingdom come.
I have seen several cases and I have been lured into such relationships. It is quite natural for younger women to date and mate with older men. And it is most common in Africa where older men can marry girls as young as their own daughters. My father married my mother when she was only 16.

I have known a girl who was 16 when I was 34 and the parents wanted us to marry. When she was only 17 and I did not sleep with her, she told her parents and her father discussed with me and asked me if anything was wrong with me.
"A healthy man should have sex four to seven times a week," her father said.
When I told the man that I am a Christian, he just waved off my confession as an excuse. And I felt sorry for my situation. Because, I wanted to "bunk" his daughter over and over again. But my vows of chastity held me back.

Then, I had a girlfriend I snatched from an older man. Because, the man was shamelessly abusing her in public in the presence of a six year old girl who was always following this older 16 year old high school senior to see this older man. The funny development is that this six year old girl is now 17 and is feeling confident to expect me to go out with her! Because, she grew up seeing the 16 years old "aunt" going out with her father's age mate. And her father accepted it. So, it is now her turn to date an older man and I am her fantasy. But, I have been discouraging her.

Sugar Daddies And Their Mistresses
By Victor Ifedi
THE sugar daddy is indeed a colossus. If in doubt, ask the society dames who are ubiquitous around the suburbs. Come to think of it, the average sugar daddy is either a rich politician who obviously has tampered with the treasury, an executive romeo in a corporate empire or a business tycoon usually involved in shady international commerce. He is many things in one: a sure financial security and a permanent cassanova. Like Lord Bewar, he believes that love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. On this platform, he harbours no illusions.

As a veritable economic asset, the sugar daddy is a dependable cash tank. In view of his wealthy resources and exquisite tastes, his generosity is boundless. He is more than a father figure or an ordinary provider. He sees affection in the Nigerian context as simply based on naira and kobo which in the parlance of the bus conductor translates to money for hand, back for ground. That is why he pays not only for the return tickets to London or New York for his latest lass but also her hotel bills and all the miscellaneous expenses incurred while she is on holidays abroad. What else can invoke more loyalty and devotion from a young bouncing lady to a nearly senile grandfather? No wonder, she is totally oblivious of his greying features. The city girl will readily declare with carefree casualness: "His currency is not old afterall." Very true indeed!!

Most sweethearts of sugar daddies come from humble homes-homes where the ongoing government-backed economic reforms have devastated their means of livelihood willy milly. Expectedly, such damsels fall like a pack of cards before the alluring baits of the crafty old man laced with milk and honey. Overwhelmed by a welter of favours and gifts galore, the teenage mentality loses its bearing and is drowned by lust.

The contemporary young bachelor lives in his world of illusion.Transparently arrogant, impecunious and exuberant, he naively considers himself above the clouds. He fancies that every dame is dying to be his bride. He dismisses the prevailing theory that money can buy love with the wave of his hand and conceives the odd notion that the sugar daddy is elderly and finished. Sooner than later, reality stares him right on the face. Like a bolt out of the blue, he witnesses all the pretty damsels around engaged in a desperate and fierce competition to win the attention of the sugar daddies, senior citizens in the twilight of their span who should actually be role models and lead the current generation by worthy examples.

Sugar daddies rule the waves except in the embattled villages. The rural environment is too coarse and dejected for the libido of sugar daddies. Whoever regards the countryside as ideal for passion must be off his mind. Even in the milieu of purported democracy, all the good things of life have migrated from the Nigerian village arena and the beautiful ones with them. Besides, the rural customs and traditions inflict sanctions too severe for the pucrile pastimes of ageing men in search of carnal pleasure. Therefore, the typical haven for sugar daddies is the urban areas and of course the city centres where anything goes.

How can one honestly blame the young ladies for pitching their camps with the opulent sugar daddies? Nigeria is one country where there is no sacred code of conduct in spite of the hypocrisy of those usurping the corridors of power. The female undergraduate faithful to her ageing professor is not only sure of an outstanding result in her degree examinations but also congratulatory presents to the bargain. An office secretary devoted to her boss enjoys premature promotions, incentives and a catalogue of fringe benefits exclusive to her. A staff nurse steady with the chief medical consultant is permanently free from reprimands. While her mates fret before the might of the chief executive, she brazenly calls him by his first name. No wonder, indiscipline infects every aspect of public and private enterprises as a matter of course.

Douglas Jerrold's assertion, 'Love is like measles, all the worse when it comes late in life', may have a cynical flavour but it is a fact of life.Who indeed will police the social sector and call the sugar daddies to order in this era of war against indiscipline and corruption? Nobody. Those who should wield the big stick are themselves embroiled in the escapade. Sugar daddies seem to enjoy this emotional relationship with tender damsels. The sugar babies provide the sexual panacea which drugs cannot fulfil. These old rascals discover to their excitement that after all, they are not the ancient wretches their nagging wives point them to be.

The sugar daddy is to the city girl what Father Christmas is to innocent kids. Like them or detest them, the fair sex will go to war if either the National Assembly or any of the overzealous state assemblies decide to legislate them out of existence. The grapevine is awash with recent scandals in the religious sphere which goes to show that our reverend pastors and other denominational evangelists are not exempted from the passionate adventures of sugar daddies.

5 comments:

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Orikinla Osinachi. said...

Your Mama was a SugarMummy?

Nneka's World said...

To me there is nothing like an older guy! I have been a sucker for older men, i think its thier reasoning, the way the see life, talk and take in stride my temper tantrums. If dating a guy within my age range, i find that they are much more explosive, and two mad people cannot co-xist in a relationship! My dad is considerably older than my mom. So i think that is where it stems from. and no i am not looking for a father figure have a father already, but i say that older men have thier attractions. I think its because they have done all there is to do, so things dont really faze them, and most importantly know how to talk to a hot-head like myself!

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

I prefer Hothead like you anyday.
The more melodramatic the better. I hate boredom.

If the 18 years old babe asks for my love, I will give all my love to her.
It is natural and rationale.

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